Tuesday, May 20

Look Out!

I have control issues. I've talked about this before. It's the reason I don't volunteer and the reason I won't be in charge of anything. Put me in charge and I'll turn into a tyrant, screeching that people are doing it wrong, wrong, wrong. This is not only unpleasant for people around me, it's also not a whole lot of fun for me. My blood pressure skyrockets, steam comes out of my ears, my heart races ... and I don't like feeling that way. So I try to avoid putting myself into those situations. It's best for everyone concerned. What does this have to do with the title of my post?

Sometimes avoiding those situations is very difficult. There are people in my life that I care a great deal about, and it pains me to watch them make bad decisions. My concern for them meets up with my control tendencies and it's like this double whammy hitting me. If I saw someone was about to step into the path of an oncoming bus, I would naturally yell out a warning. When I see people I care about making choices that I know will just create more problems down the road, or that will make their lives more difficult than necessary, that same instinct kicks in and it's all I can do not to jump in front of the speeding bus of their decisions and knock them out of the way. And they wouldn't appreciate it. People never do. I'm pretty sure I would feel the same way. So what am I supposed to do?

One sure-fire solution would be to eliminate the problem by eliminating the people. From my life that is. Okay, not really; but it's a recurring fantasy I have. My other little dream is the one where I just start smacking people upside the head until they stop screwing around and start doing things my way which is the right way IF THEY WOULD ONLY ADMIT IT! Which would probably bring my first fantasy to life.

Again, I ask you, what am I supposed to do? I don't know if it's the right answer, but I have developed a philosophy. All I can do is remind people to look both ways before crossing the street, advise them to take care not to trip and fall, and then back away and hope for the best.

It's a hard-won philosophy and doesn't do much for my peace of mind, really. Sometimes I still need to vent, to talk to someone who will listen and understand that my words are not an expression of criticism but of concern. If you happen to be one of the people I've vented to, thank you for listening. I'm blessed to have a few people like that in my life. And just smart enough to know how lucky I am.

And that's why, inspite of the lure that first fantasy still has for me, I haven't actually resorted to the second. But please, for me, when you go out into the world I would really appreciate it if you would be careful. Look both ways; don't run with scissors, and call and let me know that you have arrived safely.

1 comment:

Theresa said...

I don't think there is a right answer, but your philosophy is one that I also try to follow.

I have one friend who has made many, many wrong decisions in my opinion. He also doesn't take advice well. At this point, I occasionally make a suggestion, but otherwise just try to be supportive.

In the end, all we really have control over is our own actions.

Which includes eliminating people from our lives, if need be. :+)