Wednesday, February 14

Adventures in Baltimore

So if you've wandered over here to my Blog you are probably a CherryBomb. And if you are a CherryBomb you probably know that my dad has been in the VA hospital over in Baltimore where he had surgery. I've caught you up on that, I think. But here's what you don't know about what's been going on.

First, Baltimore is all one way streets. And very few of them are going in the direction you need. Its diabolical.

Second, Baltimore has a trolley or cable car thing. I did not know this before last week in spite of living relatively close. Well I guess I've only visited the Inner Harbor tourist area, that's why.

Third, if you miss a turn off from the expressway you are not lost. The same streets will intersect the next street. However you will be a little further away from your destination.

Fourth, if you find yourself a little further away and need to work your way back to familiar cross streets, it is wise to think twice before making a left turn onto a block you've never visited before.

Fifth, said block may be one of the streets the cable car travels. And if you didn't know it was there before it can come as a hugh shock to find this honking huge 'bus thingy bearing down in your direction.

Sixth, if you squeeze over to the right, stop the car and close your eyes, the cable car will go past without incident.

Seventh, the experience can leave you terrified and desperate for the street you want so that you don't notice certain important road signs.

Eighth, you are not supposed to make left turns from the same block the cable car travels.

Ninth, the traffic cops know all about this little problem.

Tenth, they don't care.

Oh, and Edgar Allen Poe's grave is only a few short blocks from the VA.


Mary said...

Ooh, virgin blog!

One day, I will stop being so easily amused. I promise.

Reading this made me glad I wasn't in Baltimore tonight. I'll stick to the west coast.

Actually, it sounds a bit like San Francisco, without the heart-stopping sudden drops as you come over the top of a hill and plunge downwards... watching the cable car at the bottom come closer...

I hope your dad gets better soon! Enough with the hospitals already.

bon cheri bomb said...

Yes, I have noticed that you will do damn near anything to attract attention from men in uniform. Um, he was wearing a uniform? It sounds as if perhaps you were not, however, wearing your pink twirly skirt and I'd wager that you left the magic wand at home as well. Sigh.

You see, this is why I always drive.

dee said...

Do you need a (((POOR BABY))), or would a margarita be better? Either way, I've got yer back, sistah! (sorry, was channeling some obnoxious person from a teen angst movie I just finished watching!)

Glad Dad is doing better. Sorry about the cop thing. Unless he was cute. And you got his number. If that's the case - good for you!! Bring him to have drinks with us!

I'm raising a hurricane glass in your honor tonight!

McB said...

Thanks guys, but you know I don't wear the twirly skirt in the vicinity of hospitals. Lots of reasons, we won't go there. And no the cop wasn't cute. Well I suppose she was someone's type, but not mine. It bugged me that it was so obviously a trap because they were RIGHT THERE as soon as I made the turn. So I'm thinking it happens a lot. The traffic cop did say I could appeal the ticket as my driving record was good (so there, BCB!) but that would mean taking more time off from work and risking another ticket as I try to find the Baltimore courthouse. I know I should do it and protect my driving record, but I'm tired.

Dee thanks for the honorary drink. I did get a margarita in last weekend when I got together for dinner with a friend (she who will be willed my books).

ufpri: Usually fey princesses rise indignantly

Mary said...

I remember the one time I got caught in a speed trap. I complained afterwards to my mother, and she told me to think of all the times that I /had/ been speeding and hadn't got a ticket. Which, I must confess [Mary looks quickly around to make sure there are no policemen or women or indeed close relatives nearby] has happened an awful lot of times.

The trouble is that it's even more a pisser (Bostonian term, which I appropriated from a Bostonian friend) to be stopped by a police official when you're driving up to the hospital to see your father. It's been over twenty years since I've been in that position, but the memory still lingers.

Off to find a margarita to raise in your and your father's honor...

sjuved - how you feel when you've been run over by a Scandinavian equivalent of an SUV

p.s. Is it just me? I read an article today about moles being removed from President Bush's face, and I immediately started to wonder what Talpianna had been up to lately...

Robin said...

LOL McB So funny though I'm sure it wasn't then

ZaZa said...

Where is the VA Hospital? I lived in Baltimore for 10 years, but I don't recall. Or is it on the edge of downtown where all the others are clustered?

I don't remember the trolley either. I don't think. I've got to admit that I had learned to plan my routes carefully, just because of the capriciousness of the road directions.

Good luck to your dad and to you in any future Baltimore encunters.

McB said...

Zaza - yes on the edge of everything and next door to the U of MD hospital. In fact not that far from the Inner Harbor and the stadiums. I've since tried looking on the internet and still can't find anything about a trolley in Baltimore. But my mother saw it too so it wasn't a figment of my imagination. Really.

ZaZa said...

I wonder if it was a shopper's shuttle run by some of the merchants. Does it just look like a cable car or does it actually have treakles. Uh, maybe that's a familial thing, treakles are the two things sticking up to grab onto the power lines the trolleys run on.

A lot of places use those ersatz cable cars like that.

McB said...

Zaza - It was a freak'n big thing with a cable running overhead and I think there was a track-type thing embedded in the road. But don't ask me for any more details because I was busy praying. It may or may not have had sticking up things. It didn't look friendly like the SF ones do. And when I got pulled over and explained to the traffic cop that I didn't notice any signs for trying to get out of the way of the 'cable/trolley thing' she said something about that being why they didn't allow left turns there.

It wasn't a plain bus and it wasn't a tour bus made to look like a trolley because I'm used to seeing both of those in DC.

Did I mention it was really big?

McB said...

Maybe this is what I saw