There's this person I know, whom I'll call "Nancy" because I don't actually know anyone by that name, who has had a rough life. Nancy was a good little girl and married young as girls did then and per her parents' expectations. It didn't work. Eventually she entered into a "commited relationship" which also didn't work. Then she got married again and, you guessed it, it didn't work. To be fair, initially she was just following the expected pattern for her generation. The idea of a woman being financially independant is pretty new. Unfortunately, Nancy continued to repeat the pattern of finding someone to take care of her. And now she is reduced to doing unskilled manual labor in her late 50's and clinging precariously to an uncertain and unstable financial situation - and still looking for someone to take care of her. To make matters worse, she pretty much raised her daughter as she had been raised, and now they are both in the same boat. Nancy is a good person. It would be easy to say that she doesn't really deserve such a hard life. And yet, she hasn't done anything to make her life different, either. She could have chosen to learn from experience and hedged her bets while still young. Instead she kept looking for a shortcut, an easy way out.
This post isn't really about Nancy, though. It's about all the other people out there, people I know and probably people you know, too, who keep trying to find an easier way. Sometimes they learn; sometimes they don't. There is no easy way. You work for what you want and you plan for things to go wrong because they will. If, instead, you sit around waiting for good things to happen just because you're cute/blonde/friendly/manicured - pick one - please have the grace not to whine when life doesn't go according to plan.
If this sounds harsh, well that's how I'm feeling. I'm tired of being resented because my life seems less problematic than somebody else's. I'm tired of having to test the air before I can share whatever blessing comes my way. I earned my life, and what I have is a result of decisions I made. Nothing just fell into my lap.
I am cute as hell, though.
7 comments:
Yes you are. Damn cute. :D
Can't I be cute and whine?
That's so unfair!
Thank you for being so patient with my little rant/whine moment. I needed to get that out. I know it didn't sound like it, but I actually like Nancy. There was just this moment when I got dumped on and had to bite my tongue. I'm over it now. Even having to tone it down and edit the details for public viewing, writing the post helped sort my thoughts out.
Tomorrow I'll be perky. Promise.
Oh, hey, verification word is Local Yarn Store Xtra Wool
McB, you can be anything you want, anytime you want, or so it seems to me.
And you are both cute and perky,too.
It does make me crazy when people say, "they deserve..." and fill in the blank. We all have choices and what we do with them seems to be the key.
Author J.A.Jance said she made the decision to begin writing and the only time she had was between 4-7AM every morning.
So what we do with our choices be it time or talent does make a difference.
That's the whole thing. I don't criticize the choices people make if they are willing to shoulder the consequences. It's when they allow those consequences to make them bitter that it drives me crazy.
Cute and perky, we are sure on the same page.
I'm so pleased I have someone that can say what I agree with so very well.
Cute and perky. Well, maybe not both at the same time. In fact, maybe I'll just let you be in charge of perky. It's a good hair day, though, so I can probably swing cute.
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