The PNW

So I finally got to see something of the Pacific Northwest when I visited the Portland, Oregon area last weekend. The purpose of the trip was a CB gathering. Okay, so we claimed we were celebrating the summer solstice, but I don't recall one person dancing nekkid under the moon the whole weekend, and I think I would have remembered, so clearly that was just a thinly veiled excuse to party.

I got in late afternoon on Thursday. Earlier in the day while I was waiting for my flight I had received a text message from Wapak telling me that she was there waiting for GP and that I should hurry up. Yes, because I have any control whatsoever over the airlines. Does anyone? But I told her I was flapping my arms as hard as I could. So I get to PDX and text Wapak saying that "I am in Portland" to which she responded, "are you in portland yet?" And it went down hill from there. I responded that yes, I was in Portland, but (at that point) still on the plane. And then, because I like to dot my i's and cross my t's, I confirmed that I was in the Portland that is in Oregon. Wapak wanted to know if, since I hadn't deplaned or whatever the term is, if they were supposed to move the party to the airplane. Frankly I didn't think there was room and suggested baggage carousel 8. She told me to be on the lookout for CBs as I left the plane and I was. I was on the lookout as I got off the plane. I was on the lookout as I left the gate area. I was on the lookout as I got on the escalator leading to the baggage area, and still again when I arrived at the location where I expected my bags to show up. Still no CBs. Then my cell phone rings and it's CMS asking where I am. And I responded "at baggage carousel 8" which she seemed to find very funny. Once she stopped laughing she explained that they had been so busy talking that they didn't see me get off the escalator and WALK RIGHT PAST THEM. Ironically, she was there because she was the one who knew what both JenB and I looked like and could pick us out of the crowd. That was a successfull plan.

As the weekend went on, there was much frivolity and merry making, making Mary merrier, one hopes, but as far as I know no marrying, merry or otherwise. Except possibly in Powell's but we never got the whole story on that. At one point our hostess went off (well she went off on several occasions, ostensibly to procure more ice, and we'll just let it go at that) in the company of, I think, JenB. Don't let Jen's sweet face and quiet manner fool you; it's all a facade. They called back to the party to see if anything was needed or wanted and, well, you've already heard that K.L. requested and received her very own pony. I can't remember if GP wanted a camel or an elephant, but whatever it was she got, she seemed happy with it. I, on the other hand, came out way ahead of the pack on account of I got ...

MEN IN UNIFORM

And even though there were plenty of weapon wielding hunks to go around, I did not share. So there.

The Cotton-Tailed Caper

So, the mesh fencing stuff referred to in the on-line listing as "poultry fencing" is on order and should actually arrive today or tomorrow. Not that this will do me much good as (1) I'll need help getting it up and (a) my help has limited free time, (b) I'm going to be away for several days myself in the coming week; also (2) there isn't that much left to protect at this stage. Still no signs of snacking on the crook necked squash. I'm starting to wonder if the rabbits know something I don't since they are leaving those plants alone. Fortunately tomato plants, the green parts, are poisonous so they haven't gone after those. Also which, I keep the bottom-most leaves trimmed away in an effort to limit pests of the insect variety. So those two are doing fine.

I couldn't find any more zucchini plants anywhere, but I did locate some seeds which I have started indoors. Please note that I'm learning from my mistakes, here. I put some potting soil into an over sized wine glass (really, more like brandy snifter size) and stuck some seeds in it. I've been misting it since to keep the soil moist and Houston we achieved sprouts. I'm going to let these puppies get fair sized before I transfer them NOT to the plant bed (still learning here) but to some large pots. Of which I am considering the idea of putting up on stilts. And behind a barbed wire fence. But I'm not bitter, no not me. I haven't yet resorted to the measures referred to in this NY Times article . Or to be more precise I haven't resorted to measures that require a permit to carry.

The other night I went outside to water and the furry little ... deep breath ... was sitting there in the middle of the yard STARING AT ME! He doesn't even scurry away anymore, which I think is just insulting. He just sat there the whole time I dealt with getting the hose out and turning on the water. Amnd it, he could at least have had the decency to look worried. But no, he just sat there as I turned on the spray pointed, initially, at the tomato plants. And then I had an idea. Heh heh heh. I reached up and twisted the spray setting from "gentle shower" to "atomic blast stream" and jerked the barrel suddenly in ol' Flopsy's direction. Got him right under his little cotton tail and goosed him clear across the yard. Bwah ha ha ha. No, I don't feel a bit guilty about it, so there.

And he came back! Really, he was back for more last night. The flop-eared little ... was thumbing his twitchy little nose at me. Clearly this called for desperate measures. It just so happened that my FPDU (as Ms. Merry calls it) had followed me to the patio doors. She was hunkered down in tail twitch position staring out at the intruder in the yard. Now, Kelly isn't as young as she used to be but she's still pretty spry and in her day was known to bring "gifts" to the door on occasion. So I decided to see if she still had the stuff. I slid open the door and she padded out on pussy cat feet towards the edge of the patio, crouched down, and ... proceeded to munch on the grass. No, no! I look out and Mopsy is still there, hysterical. Hysterical with laughter. Oh yeah, he's worried now. Okay, maybe he wasn't ROTFLHAO, but I'm sure I detected a chuckle.

Okay, clearly Kelly needed a little reminder about those ancient hunter instincts she's supposed to possess. Instincts she remembers just fine when she's pouncing on imaginary dust motes inside the house. So I pick her up, yes, I did, and I CARRIED HER OVER TO THE RABBIT. Who finally had the grace to look a little nervous scampered just a few feet away. Didn't actually RUN, mind you, but did at least move to what he may have considered a more advantageous position. At this point Kelly starts to get a clue that maybe I'm expecting something from her and wriggles out of my grasp. And now the chase is on. Around and around and around the yard they went. No, the rabbit really did make a run for it with Kelly close behind. They did several circuits of the yard before the bunny wised up and made for the back of the shed. Not only did that slow Kelly down a wee bit it's also the location of one of Bugsy's favorite egress points. So he got away but Kelly got some exercise out of it and I've showed that I will not be trifled with. I know he'll be back, at least until I get the fencing stuff up, but Kelly and I fought the good fight and made a showing. We saved face. And tomorrow's another day.

Where's Elmer Fudd When I Need Him?

The rabbits are winning. Actually, I think there might be just the one bunny visiting the yard now. It's a very small one that's still capable of wriggling through the various barriers I stuck around the fence two weeks ago. At any rate most of my veggies are history. Except, curiously, the crook neck squash. The zuchinni is gone and the peppers with it. This means that if I want to have a garden this year I'm going to have to roll up my sleeves and get serious.

A friend recommend the plastic mesh stuff pictured here. It's called poultry fencing and is supposed to be better than wire. Certainly it has to be easier to work with, I would think. And it won't rust. So I'm off to the hardware store this weekend to get some. It come in rolls 2 and 3 food high, and 25 feet in length. No, I don't know how much I need. I think I'm going to just concentrate on surrounding the individual plant beds first and then if that goes okay I can move on to bunny-proofing the whole fence.

And while I'm at it I need to get something to replace the railroad ties currently bordering my tomato patch. They've gotten a bit nasty on the underside, kind of rotten and attracting the sort of icky things that like rotten wood. So I'm giving that some thought too. Ideally I'd like to do something with real stone or brick. Not that fake hollow stone stuff; I want something fairly sturdy. Of course that would mean having to cart the stone through the house to the back yard. On the plus side, it being stone I would only need to carry it as far as the back deck. If it's rock it should survive being tossed over the side of the deck rail, don't you think? Or I might try something like this:

Mind you, they aren't saying exactly what "this" is, but it's not supposed to break down, dry out or become brittle. Sounds a whole lot like plastic, doesn't it? Stay tuned.

How I Spent My Long Weekend

We haven't had many good weekends this spring. In fact, it's been a pretty soggy mess for the last few months. I'm one of the lucky ones that didn't suffer any flooding, and for that I'm thankful. But there was a ton of stuff that needed doing around the yard and not enough good days to get it done. I did a few things on the occasional nice evening, but most of what needed doing took more time. For instance, pruning the tree in the front yard. It's a beautiful flowering cherry, but it needs upkeep or the branches grow out of control. When we got a lot of rain, as we have, the branches would get heavy over the outer sidewalk. So that was one thing that needed attention on what turned out to be a perfect spring weekend.

Meet my friend the pole trimmer thingie. I highly advise anyone with a tree to get one of these. Makes pruning back branches a snap. Literally. That rope you see dangling attaches to a sharp set of pinchers and one good tug on the rope snaps off small branches as easy as you please. If even I could do it, you know it must be easy. I had to pass on the highest of branches as I wasn't brave enough to get up on a ladder while doing this. I also didn't use the saw blade on bigger branches. But even so, the tree looks much nicer now.

Other things I did included putting in pepper and zucchini plants. Which the rabbits found very quickly. *sigh*. They also found the new flowers I put in. So I picked up this spray stuff that I call the bunny blaster. In theory, Peter, Thumper and the gang don't like this stuff (it does stink) and will avoid the flowers. Not that I don't believe in their advertising, but I also made an attempt to block their more obvious exits and entrances. In this I had to get creative. A few large stones wedged between fence slats, a long metal thing (I have no idea what it was doing behind the shed) wedged into the fence behind the shed, and (I got creative, here) a metal grill from an old bar-b-que grill in front of the more ominous looking gap. Looks tacky and probably won't work. But at least I'm being proactive.

My butterfly bush bit the dust this year. They are supposed to be virtually maintenance free; not mine. Mine needed special attention every single year and last year it was just pitiful. This year, there was an initial attempt at new growth before it just gave up and died. Well, I did have a few good years out of it. I replaced it with a Persian lilac. You might get to see pictures if I don't kill it off. I also got the grass in the back yard cut (hint: lawn mowers start much easier when they have enough gas in them) and even weedwhacked the edges. It looks pretty good now. Except where Bambi's buddy went after the flowers. FYI, they are fond of scabiosa and osteospermum (which is not a seed with a bad back). Who knew? Okay, I'm moving on now.

I also got out the leaf blower and tried to clean up the old patio a bit. Oak leaves had piled up along the foundation and between the house and the shed. Curiously there are no oak trees on this side of the house. At all. It's all flowering cherry and pine. So where did all the oak leaves come from? I have no idea. It was pretty bad, though, and we've been having problems with ants so I figured getting the dead leaves away from the foundation was a good start. Following which I went along the wall and patio with my trusty bug blaster. We'll see.

Look Out!

I have control issues. I've talked about this before. It's the reason I don't volunteer and the reason I won't be in charge of anything. Put me in charge and I'll turn into a tyrant, screeching that people are doing it wrong, wrong, wrong. This is not only unpleasant for people around me, it's also not a whole lot of fun for me. My blood pressure skyrockets, steam comes out of my ears, my heart races ... and I don't like feeling that way. So I try to avoid putting myself into those situations. It's best for everyone concerned. What does this have to do with the title of my post?

Sometimes avoiding those situations is very difficult. There are people in my life that I care a great deal about, and it pains me to watch them make bad decisions. My concern for them meets up with my control tendencies and it's like this double whammy hitting me. If I saw someone was about to step into the path of an oncoming bus, I would naturally yell out a warning. When I see people I care about making choices that I know will just create more problems down the road, or that will make their lives more difficult than necessary, that same instinct kicks in and it's all I can do not to jump in front of the speeding bus of their decisions and knock them out of the way. And they wouldn't appreciate it. People never do. I'm pretty sure I would feel the same way. So what am I supposed to do?

One sure-fire solution would be to eliminate the problem by eliminating the people. From my life that is. Okay, not really; but it's a recurring fantasy I have. My other little dream is the one where I just start smacking people upside the head until they stop screwing around and start doing things my way which is the right way IF THEY WOULD ONLY ADMIT IT! Which would probably bring my first fantasy to life.

Again, I ask you, what am I supposed to do? I don't know if it's the right answer, but I have developed a philosophy. All I can do is remind people to look both ways before crossing the street, advise them to take care not to trip and fall, and then back away and hope for the best.

It's a hard-won philosophy and doesn't do much for my peace of mind, really. Sometimes I still need to vent, to talk to someone who will listen and understand that my words are not an expression of criticism but of concern. If you happen to be one of the people I've vented to, thank you for listening. I'm blessed to have a few people like that in my life. And just smart enough to know how lucky I am.

And that's why, inspite of the lure that first fantasy still has for me, I haven't actually resorted to the second. But please, for me, when you go out into the world I would really appreciate it if you would be careful. Look both ways; don't run with scissors, and call and let me know that you have arrived safely.

So what do you think?

Oh, come on, tell me honestly. Do you like it? Isn't it gorgeous? I feel happy just looking at it. This is what a garden is supposed to be. I love the little bench at the end. It's very peaceful. Looking at this just makes me feel all happy inside. I love cottage gardens. I love the wild look of it with color spiking up here and there.



*sigh* Wish it was mine.


Or this one. I'd be happy with this one, too. These are what I want my garden to be. But I think that gardens like these takes a lot more patience than I have. My problem is that I want it all to look like these pictures NOW. But gardens like these take years. I think most of these plants are perennials. Translation: they come back every year. This is great in theory, but in practice it takes a few years, and a strong back, before you actually get that look. I did say I was impatient, remember. Which is why I always give in and purchase annuals. Instant color and pizzazz, but lacking a bit in the charm category.

These photos are what I want my back yard to look like. I think, though, that the only way I'll ever have it is if I'm willing to spend the big bucks to have professionals landscape it for me. Heck, my grass doesn't even look that good. Maybe someday. And maybe someday I'll get a new deck with graceful steps that lead down to a quaint brick or stone patio. And maybe I'll throw in a water garden, too. Something small and tasteful , like this



Or maybe I'll just buy a bench.

What's Your Excuse?

I was late to work this morning because of an obstruction in the road. More specifically, five obstructions. It's probably my own fault because I know it's spring and I know what sort of "road hazards" I've encountered in the past. But this is one traffic jam that doesn't usually produce road rage. Quite the opposite.

Oddly enough, my local subway station in the 'burbs is a popular hang out for geese. I don't know why. There is a tiny stream that bisects some of the parking area, but otherwise it's not a very waterfowl friendly location. The geese in our area are, I think, supposed to be transplanted Canadians but they are around pretty much year round. Even when you don't see them, you see evidence of them. Usually on the sidewalk.

Seriously, though, it's not uncommon for traffic on 4 lane roads to come to a complete stop at this time of year. This little guy is trying to figure out how to make it up over the curb, which is taller than he is. He managed.

For Mom

I came across this pattern which I thought looked pretty cool. It's a combination of a cardigan and wrap and I thought it looked nice and cozy. I also thought it would make a nice gift so I decided to make it for Mother's Day. I just finished it this past weekend; what do you think?


I still need to finish weaving in stray yarn ends and do a little blocking for shape. I don't think it will need much, but I'm thinking about using a little steam on the front panels to bring out the stitch detail a little more. I'm really pleased with it. I love the way it drapes and I think it will be cozy without being too heavy. And hopefully there will be a little time for her to enjoy it before the weather gets too warm

And Now A Word From Their Sponsors

Overall I don't mind commercials that much. I could wish there were fewer of them and more of the few programs I want to watch; but for the most part I'm not bothered by ads. In fact, sometimes I find the commercials more entertaining than the scheduled broadcast. One of my still favorites was for the HP photo printer. You know the one I mean? This guy shuffles and manipulates photos like a magician with a deck of cards. It was a very clever use of special effects and, I thought, visually entertaining. Even though I knew it was all done with computers, my eye couldn't resist trying to discover the 'trick.' It evoked in me the same sense of wonder I felt watching David Copperfield perform locally several years ago.

But now and then there is a commercial that I find especially dumb or even offensive. There was one that played for years in my area, and maybe it's a regional thing, for a bathroom remodeling company. This woman walks into her bathroom and throws back the shower curtain only to discover that the tub and tiles are filthy with mold and mildew and who knows what else. So then the woman has this company completely refit a new bathroom for her and extolls the speed and efficiency with which it was done. But I have to wonder how she let her bathroom get that bad to begin with. I mean clearly she hadn't bothered to clean it, or even use it, or it wouldn't have come as such a surprise to her. And if she hadn't bothered to clean it in the first place, would she bother with the new bathroom? Or was she planning to get it refitted every six months? Okay, I know it was just a commerical, but it was a dumb commercial and did not in the least make me want to rush to the phone and order a new bathtub.

The most recent addition to my list of all time idiot ads is a new one for Brand X paper plates. It starts out all warm and fuzzy with this woman saying how she has decided that spending time with her kids is more important than spending time washing dishes. This commercial bothers me on several levels. First, because it implies that if you wash dishes instead of using paper plates that you must be an uncaring parent who isn't interested in spending more time with your kids. Second, it completely ignores the fact that (a) there would still be dishes to do if only in cooking the food, and (b) washing up a few plates takes only a minute. Apparently she doesn't begrudge the time it takes to scour pots and pans. Another woman appears in the commercial marveling that Brand X plates are even good enough for her grandmother's recipe. Which makes me think that her grandmother's recipe must not be very good. And then there's the fact that if these women weren't spending so much on paper plates they could probably afford automatic dishwashers.

Just how dumb I found this commercial is clear; all I can think of when watching it is how much it offends me. I couldn't even tell you what brand it's supposed to be advertising. Which is pretty bad marketing if you ask me. Or even if you don't.

Still turning pages

In case you missed my earlier comment, Jan Karon's latest addition to the Father Tim series Home to Holly Springs was fabulous. I love getting pulled into her world, or Father Tim's world, I suppose. Warm and fuzzy feelings I've got for that series. These books are written for adults, but there's an almost child-friendly feeling to them. Gentle, I think is a good description. I'm a terrible cynic, myself; but sometimes escaping into that more simple world works better than any prescription drug for soothing whatever ails me.

Also recently reread Terry Pratchett's Making Money which I also have listened to the audio twice. Moist Von Lipwig is my all time favorite Pratchett character, second only to Lord Vetinari. Neither one is the most sterling example of humanity. Moist is a thief and scam artist, Vetinari is a tyrant, literally. But sometimes the best person for the job isn't the guy with the cleanest motive. Pratchett's books are great fun. He might set them in a fantasy world, but it only serves to underscore the familiar aburdities of our own culture.

Just finished Driving Over Lemons by Chris Stewart. If you like Bill Bryson, you might want to give this one a try. With much love and humor, Stewarts tells how he and his wife came to live on a small farm in rural Spain, the people they came to know and the life they obviously fell in love with. Charming and quixotic would be a good description. It reminded me a lot of James Herriot's stories, actually.

Another One Wrapped Up

Ta da! Here's another project, hot off the hook. Please ignore the wrinkled t-shirt. This one is a cropped jacket from a Moda Dea pattern I downloaded for free. Not bad for free, huh? Okay, the yarn I had to pay for. I actually used Cascade Sierra for this one, as I think I mentioned before. I know, in the photo it looks more like a melon color, but it's actually a bright magenta in real time. Despite the open work design, the jacket is actually pretty warm which makes it just about perfect for spring/fall. Also, the yarn is mostly cotton with a little Merino wool for elasticity which means the fabric should breath well and be comfortable at a variety of temperatures.

I was really pleased at how quickly it worked up, and how well the pieces fit together. A sign of a good pattern, I think, when it all goes the way it's supposed to. The only thing that I did differently from the pattern was at the back of the neck, which you can't see here. I believe I mentioned in an earlier post that I had been reading up on techniques to create crochet garments that don't look homemade. The book is Couture Crochet by Lily Chin and I highly recommend it. One of the things she mentions in the book is the difference that a properly fitted neckline can make in the way a garment hangs. Go to your closet or dresser and pull out a shirt, any shirt. If you lay it flat and examine the back, you'll see that the neck area is cut about 1/2 inch shorter than the shoulders. This is because the back of your neck slopes slightly before it meets your collar bone. If the upper back is cut straight across, the garment will have a tendency to hang heavier in the back requiring the wearer to constantly jerk at the front to keep the garment hanging correctly. By cutting out the center, about 5 inches wide and only 1/2 inch deep, you clear the collar bone and the back hangs properly. Learning about this was a real eye-opener for me. It's not something I've seen mentioned in crochet patterns, and it wasn't written into the pattern for this jacket, but I figured out that I could accomplish the same idea if I switched to a slip stitch for those middle 5 inches of the last row. And it worked beautifully; the jacket hangs almost flawlessly. I'm so pleased with how it turned out that I might do another one before long, maybe as a gift.

But while I was finishing up the jacket, I was simultaneously working on this cardigan for my mother. Since I intend it to be a surprise for Mother's Day I've had to sneak working on it during lunch hours, sometimes working a row or two at night. This pattern is from a book called Style For You! from the folks at Leisure Arts and uses Caron Simply Soft yarn. Soft and inexpensive, it's been very nice to work with. I have the back and sleeves done, and have started one of the front sides. The interesting things about this pattern is that you don't work the pieces separately and then sew together. Instead, each section is worked out from the last. For example, when I finished at the upper back I continued on, creating what became the collar and sleeve. Once I figured it out, I really liked the idea because I hate stitching pieces together. I'm crossing my fingers, but I think the fronts should work up fairly quickly as it's all double crochet and chain spaces.

A Good Yarn

As I'm getting more involved in crochet projects I've been trying to learn more about yarn. This is turning out to be more complicated that I thought it would be. One of the reasons I've really dived back into crochet is the greater variety of yarns now available. In the old days yarn was yarn. You had acrylic yarns and you had wool. You had yarns of a weight suitable for afghans and you had the thinner pastel yarns suitable only for baby blankets and sweaters. The issue for crocheters is that a crochet stitch uses a bit more yarn than a similar knit stitch, which meant that crocheted fabric had a tendency to be bulkier and so were less likely to be turned into garments (except for those ugly granny square vests of the 1970s ... don't get me started on granny squares).

But fiber arts (that's what they call it now) have exploded in popularity in recent years and along with the interest (like the chicken and the egg, I'm not sure which came first) we're seeing yarns in an amazing array of fibers and thickness, although not necessarily at my local Michaels or WalMart which, contrary to the trends, have been stocking less yarn than ever. I can't figure that one out, but never mind. These newer yarns use fibers and spinning techniques that work up into fabrics with much better weight and drape than ever before which has been a boon to all the fiber arts, but most particularly to crocheters. With yarns spun finer and with more elastic fibers, the extra bulk in a crochet stitch is negligible. And as the variety of yarns has increased and improved, patterns have been written to take advantage.

All of this is fabulous for the craft, of course, and great fun when it comes to shopping for yarn. Let me loose in a yarn store and I'm like a kid running wild in a toy store. But more choices mean having to choose what yarn will work best for each particular project and that means learning more about the characteristics of fibers and yarn weights. There's a little information out there, but you have to really look for it. I have not, so far, found one inclusive source on the subject. I'm thinking that I might actually have to start compiling what information I find and create my own resource file. Daunting. Especially as I'd much rather being working with the yarn than researching it.

Desperately Seeking

Lost: Inner Peach. If found, please return to owner.

I had it here somewhere just recently, I know I did. And then I turned around and it was gone. Pfffttt! Just like that. But it's my own fault. I wasn't keeping a close enough eye on it. I got lax and lazy. I got comfortable thinking it would just always be there when I needed it. And now it's gone and I'm not even sure when it happened. I'm hoping this is just a bid for attention. I'm hoping that if I show true remorse and make a real effort to change my ways, that Inner Peach will come back to me.

My new plan is to retrace my steps and see if I can figure out just what went wrong. I can't fix it until I can identify it, yes? I think I see part of the problem already. Too much clutter. I've been letting other people leave their issues in my head, trying to be a helpful, caring person, you know? But they just leave them there! They just dump them and go on about their merry business, leaving me to sort it all out and find someplace to store it all. I don't have that kind of room in my head. I barely have room enough for my own issues. I don't mind helping out, really I don't. But angst and insecurity are like guests and fish ... they start to stink up the place after a while. I mean, most of this is not even my mess, and yet I'm losing sleep over it. No wonder Inner Peach left.

It's even possible that Inner Peach isn't gone, just misplaced temporarily in the mess. So I'm going to spend a little 'quality time' reorganizing. I've got my boxes ready: Box 1 is for stuff that just needs put back in its proper perspective; box 2 is for old stuff that no longer has a place in my life and that I just need to get rid of; lastly, box 3 which is for other people's junk. I should probably alert them to come collect what truly belongs to them; except it occurs to me that in all this time if they haven't noticed that it was missing, its possible that I was placing more importance on this stuff than they were. No, I shall round up all those stray issues and problems from every dusty corner of my psyche and get rid of it all. Maybe I can find someone else to take them on. Someone, there's always someone, who takes pleasure in worrying about other people's problems. One man's trash is another man's treasure?

The trick will be to take it step by step and not let myself get overwhelmed by the size of the job. I can break it down into zones, maybe. First this relative, then that friend. Or maybe I'll start by sweeping out all those current events droppings left all over the floor. There are people who are paid to think about this stuff, why don't I just leave them to it?

Okay, I've got a plan. You know, I feel better already.

The Sum Of All Fears

Today I had to do math at work. I had to figure out currency exchange rates which meant percentages were involved. Percentages! I can never, never remember how to do that. Every time I have to start out with something I already know the answer to and then work backwards to figure out how I'm supposed to come to that answer. Yes, folks, not just percentages, but percentages done backwards! Ugh. And it's not like I enjoy doing math at the best of times.

My dislike of math goes way back to childhood. Third grade to be exact. Halfway through the school year we moved and I changed school systems. This would not have been an issue except that at my old school they were heavily into teaching us "new math." New math. What the heck is that? Who came up with the idea of reinventing math? It's numbers, for crying out loud. We've had the same math since the first caveman sat around trying to figure out how many clubs he had, and it worked just fine for a few millenia until some earnest young thing got a bright idea. Geez.

So there I was the new kid in a new school that was doing math the old way, the way every generation since cave guy had been doing it, and my first math class they might as well have been talking physics. I didn't even have a clue about times tables, that's how bad it was. Mom worked with me and got me up to snuff on all that stuff, because she learned her math the old fashioned way too. But in the meantime I had some self esteem issues because, hey, new kid, new school isn't bad enough I have to look ignorant too? No, my teachers weren't big meanies; we just didn't any of us have clue one where the other was coming from.

And I never really recovered from that. I mean, I went on to do just fine at all the basic math stuff and even took some advanced math classes in junior high. Well, to be honest, that was my counselor's idea. I was considered fairly bright so they kept trying to shove me in AP classes. So there I was this math phobic teen expected to play nice in first algebra and then geometry class. Again I say, ugh. Fortunately for me I had a great teacher, Mr. Mewborn, and was fast friends with another girl in class who suffered similarly.

Here's the biggest problem with math classes. It isn't enough that you know how to do the problems. They want you to do them fast. Why? What kind of instant, life altering decisions do they think you're going to encounter? Only McGuyver was ever in that kind of position. In real life, nobody's life or death hinges on how fast they can figure out the length of one side of a triangle. It just doesn't. So what's the big rush?

Back to Mr. Mewborn, Bob bless him. If it wasn't for him I never would have made it through. Talk about underappreciated teachers. He used to let my friend and I stay after on days when there had been a test. Then he would put a tough problem up on the blackboard and sit there listening while we worked out the answer. If we could prove that we knew how to answer the problem, given enough time, and came up with the correct answer, he would factor that into our test grades. Because he realized that all that really mattered was that we had learned what he was trying to teach us. I don't say it stuck with me, but without him my math phobia would have been much worse.

So thank you, Mr. Mewborn. I still don't give a rat's behind about theorems; but if I'm given enough time and a big enough blackboard, probably it won't kill anyone.

I'm Listening

You already know by now that I love books. I read across genres, having my favorites but not completely distaining any. My favorites are romance (when it's done well) and mysteries. I got hooked on mysteries when I was a kid and ran out of things to read that were suitable for my age. So Mom turned me on to the likes of Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh and Rex Stout.

A few years ago I got turned on to books of another sort: audiobooks. Funny to think that audiobook publishing is so big now. Initially they were intended for the visually impaired. Then folks who had long commutes, or just a long drive ahead of them, discovered them. And now, each year, the audio offerings at the local book store keep getting better. Audiobooks have gone mainstream, offering a welcome distraction to anyone who, well, needs a distraction. Need to exercise more? Reward yourself for your discipline by listening to a book while you sweat. That pile of ironing threatening to take over the house? Use it as an excuse to "read" for a while.

And these days you can even download them from the internet. And you aren't limited to listening from your PC, either. Many sites allow you to upload onto your mp3 player, in rare instances onto your iPod, and frequently allow you to burn the audio onto CDs. My county library system has that. Of course you have to pay for the CDs you burn them onto; so, although the service is technically free, it can still end up costing you. I'm actually collecting quite the library of audiobooks.

My favorites to listen to are the old standbys - the English cozy mystery. I have discovered that not all books translate equally well to audio. It helps if there is a lot of dialogue and a fair amount of activity in the plot. And the pacing must be good, otherwise it's much too easy to become distracted while listening. But a good, character driven mystery is perfect. Currrently I am obsessed with listening to all the Ellis Peters Brother Cadfael books that I can get my hands, or my ears, on.

But if the kind of book is important, equally so is the narrator. If the voice is too lyrical, too musical, the words get lost. Too flat and the characters won't come alive in your head. Good pacing and inflection are vital. I was listening to a book not long ago which was fairly enjoyable except for a tendency on the part of the narrator to insert odd pauses. It reminded me of that old grammar joke "what's that on the road, a head?" I've come to the conclusion that good narrating is an artform in itself.

If you haven't given audiobooks a try yet, you should. Doesn't everyone have that one dreaded task looming over them, that one that they keep putting off until it, like the ironing, keeps getting larger and more daunting? Go ahead, check it out ... possibly from your local library.

Oooh, Shiny!

I gots new toys. Well one is new but it works with the other toy so nicely it's practically like having two. And they're interactive, and I get to channel my inner child and say "whee!" while I crank it. Wanna see?


This is my yarn ball winder, which is not my newest toy, but still pretty neat. It allows me to wind up loose yarn into center pull skeins ... no more tangles! Now when I have a half-used skein, I can wind it up, nice and neat, and save for future use.


And here is a picture of my brand new yarn swift. Isn't it cool? Oh, come on, you know it is. And what, you might ask, does a yarn swift do? Well, I can take a long hank of yarn - which is yarn that is not wound into a ball or skein - and fit it around the extensions,
attach a loose end to the yarn baller, and then start cranking on the baller. With each wobbly revolution it pulls yarn from the swift, which in turn spins as the yarn hank unwinds. That's where the "whee!" factor comes into it: I can make this baby hum!


And thus another nice, neat skein of yarn is wound, ready for use or for storage in a compact, tangle free little package.

Admit it; it's really cool, isn't it? Feel free to come by any time and I'll let you play with it too. But you'll have to bring your own yarn because I used up all my loose stuff playing last night.

The Revolution That Isn't

There was an article today in the Washington Post about an invention called the Book Ripper. Apparently if you have lots of money and nothing else to do with your time, you can buy this device and use it to copy your home library into a digital format. Pointing to the Napster hullaballoo of a few years ago, the author of the article questioned whether the publishing industry was worried about wide-spread pirating. The answer from the publishing industry is: not so much.

And really, why should they? There is a market for digital book readers, but that market is fairly small. Although publishing has been offering books in digital format for years, readers have been fairly slow to jump on the bandwagon. The reasons are many. In the past reading a book digitally has meant dealing with eletronic scrolling, awkward font sizes, screen glare and so on. But the electronics industry keeps trying. Amazon.com recently joined in with its much ballyhooed Kindle which it markets as (and I kid you not) a "New Wireless Reading Device." Um, not exactly a new idea. I think they call those things BOOKS.

And therein lies the reason that the publishing industry is not worried about pirating. Books might not have whiz-bang gimicry to entice techno-geeks, but that's about all they lack. Think about it. The Kindle measures 7.5" x 5.3", or roughly the size of a paperback novel. So it's not going to win over readers based on size. It's supposed to weigh only 10.3 ounces. I don't have a scale handy for my latest read, but I feel fairly confident that the weight of the average paperback is comparable. Unlike an electronic reader of any kind, a book doesn't require batteries or a power adapter. You don't need to tinker with a scroll setting because you turn the pages when you're ready. And most books are remarkably sturdy, even the paperback versions. I have quite a collection of my own and they've held up through several rereads over more than 20 years ... heck some are probably twice that old. How long, you have to wonder, will that nifty $400 electronic thingie last you?

When you really think about it, the only upside of digital readers is that they can hold the contents of several books. Perhaps helpful for academics and researchers; but personally I'm usually only reading one book at any given moment. I may be in the middle of several books, but I usually keep them where I am mostly likely to reading them: the paperback in my totebag for reading on the subway, a hardback next to the livingroom chair, and something of a nonfiction nature at my bedside. The nice thing is, they stay right where I need them. That's another downside to e-readers that I can see: you would have to cart the thing around with you from room to room; you can't leave it at the bedside when you leave for work in the morning or you won't have anything to read on the subway.

And just try to use that button covered plastic thingie to even up table legs, or press flowers. I bet you can't tuck a photo or recipe inside for safekeeping, either.

And the answer is ...

You aren't cheating, are you? I hope you at least tried to answer the questions before heading over here.

1. Scope, CMS, and Jen-T (although I don't know if Jen says "aboot." CMS does, although she denies it.)



2. Pittsburgh (And she left it in favor of Men In Kilts, can you imagine?)



3. Carpeting (which has never been satisfactorily explained)



4. Mary (it sounds just like her, doesn't it?)



5. Canada (they were supposed to have dinner with Scope and CMS)



6. Elizabeth Bishop (I've got nothing on this one)



7. A hole in the wall (Actually, the advice wasn't so much re the hole as what she should hide behind it. And I don't think she's ever said.)



8. University of California, Santa Cruz (and the mascot is a banana slug ... you have to wonder about the message that sends)



9. CMS (there should be some kind of medal for that, don't you think?)



10. Twinkle Toes (now that I think about, I believe the nickname was thrust upon her rather than chosen.



11. Lee Child (That was CC's doing. By all accounts he was a good sport about it. Could be he's fan experiences even more bizarre than that.)



12. The Moles (Tal, Tal, come back Tal!)



13. the dip (Probably she didn't mean BCB. Probably.)



14. Regis (nobody ever explained that one to me, either)



15. Speen (it even sounds evil, doesn't it?)

So how did you do?

It's That Time Again

Yesterday was Super Tuesday *shudder*. From now until November rational conversation with rational people will be impossible. I work in the Nation's Capital and the entire region is caught up in a political fever and this town is insanely political at the best of times. At least this election, for the first time in my own voting memory, is a true contest. It will still be nuts around here, but at least interesting.

One of things that makes me craziest about politics is the whole notion of party politics. One guy is supposed to be better than the other because of the color campaign button he wears? Oh puleeze. The whole idea of voting a straight party ticket, or of backing a candidate solely because of the party he represents makes no sense at all. In the first place, no one political party can hold all the answers to every issue. There are things that need dealt with conservatively, and things which would benefit from a more open minded (dare I say liberal?) approach. Sometimes we need to lean a little more to the left, and sometimes a little more to the right. In truth, most things need dealt with from somewhere in the middle.

In the second place, how can you judge a leader by nothing more than his party affiliation? Isn't the individual more important? What does it matter what his party stands for if he's incapable of standing up for anything, abuses the power of the office, can't think for himself? Doesn't the ability to govern conscientiously matter more than whether someone's tie is blue, red, or polka dot?

And last on my list, but certainly not least, are the voters suffering from tunnel vision regarding one issue or another. It's great to believe in something and to be involved, but to focus on one thing to the exclusion of all others is just ignorant. The candidate with a history favorable to your pet cause can still be a lousy leader; and the candidate opposing your particular issue might still govern more wisely than the other guy. People need to get their heads out of their posterior regions and look at the whole picture. Saving a tree is good. Saving it only to have the entire forest around it burn down is pretty damn pointless.

Inspiration

I'm still crocheting. What with the holidays and just trying to keep on top of day to day stuff I was having trouble finding blocks of time, but the need and desire were there. I did work on some pillows, just simple 14inch throw pillows. Picked up the pillow forms a while back, and bought tons of yarn. But even though this was a fairly small project it was a while before I could block out time for working on it. I made some mistakes with the first one because I tried to be creative instead of just following the pattern. Bad McB. The second turned out much better. I'll try to remember to post pics later.

Another project that I started, but had to take a break from, is a scarf to go with Mare's hat which Jenny Crusie made and which I won in a contest she, Eileen Dreyer and Anne Stuart were running to promote their collaborative novel The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes. Here's the hat ... Isn't it gorgeous? So of course I decided that I needed a scarf to go with it. I emailed Jenny Crusie, asking what yarns she had used and she very graciously replied with brands and weights and colors which I was able to order. Got the yarns and started on the scarf and it was coming along quite nicely until I goofed. I thought I could just unravel my goof but it got tricky because of the kind of yarn. It's beautiful stuff, incredibly soft and perfect for a warm winter scarf; but it's a two-ply yarn, partly ribbon-like and partly similar to fun fur. Anyway it became very tangled up and I decided I neeeded to put it aside before I ruined the whole thing with my frustrated attempts. I'll come back to it when I'm in a better frame of mind for it.

Along the way I've been reading this great book I picked up at a local yarn store. The book, Couture Crochet Workshop by Lily Chen, has some wonderful tips and tricks for making homemade fit and look like made-to-order designer fashions. It also includes some wonderful patterns and charts that are very inspiring. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to tackle them but I want to, very much. So I've got some incentive to keep practicing, keep improving.

And in the meantime I've switched over to working on this cropped jacket in hopes of having it ready for spring. Don't tell the Moda Dea people, but I'm using their pattern with somebody else's yarn. Specifically a fabulous pima cotton/merino wool blend called Cascade Sierra in a gorgeous fusia. I did a swatch (something I learned in the above mentioned book) to check the yarn's fingering (how smoothly it works up) and drape. The book advised putting the swatch to the test so I balled it up and stuck it in my jeans pocket for an afternoon, steamed it, let it dry, soaked it and let it dry again. The idea being to find out how well the yarn will hold up in an actual garment. If it stretches too easy, pills up (you know how some sweaters will do?) or develops other problems, better to know before you've spent all those hours on a project. It seems to have passed the test so I dived right in.

This pattern is rated at intermediate skill level. Intermediate means that they give you some of the instructions, but not all of them; they leave out bits here and there for you to figure out on your own. It's a lot like working a sudoku puzzle in that respect. And like a sudoku puzzle, you don't know if you are doing it right until you get a ways in and it all starts going wrong. Huh. But I think I've got that part figured out now.