Book Review: The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes

If you've come to my blog before, then you know: I LOVE books. I love to read, period, and have been known to make do with cereal boxes and soup cans if nothing else is available. But my first love is books. Fiction, nonfiction, mysteries, thrillers, comedy and romance. I'll read them all. I visit the library every 3 weeks like clockwork and take books home by the bag. I don't get them just from libraries, I also buy books. But at the pace I read them, I have to limit my purchases to a handful of favorite authors or I'd never make the mortgage payment every month.

Enter Jennifer Crusie, Eileen Dreyer and Anne Stuart; three fabulous authors each of whose books I snatch up as soon as they come out. These ladies are GOOD. However, to my mind their writing voices are distinct so when I heard they were teaming up to co-author a novel I was a little curious, and yes wary, of how well it would work. I mean, I read a lot but I also have high expectations. The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes lives up to every one of them. I have to stress here that this book is a single novel, not an anthology. This is not three seperate stories, but rather a single story woven together by three best selling authors. And the results are seamless.

Here's the scoop: Three sisters - Dee, Lizzie and Mare - are witches. Dee is a shape shifter, Lizzie can transform objects, and Mare is telekenetic. However the girls have been on the run from their deliciously evil Aunt Xan since they were very young and have never learned quite how to handle their individual powers.

Now Aunt Xan has found them, and she has found the perfect way to lure the women out into the open, with or without the assistance of her hapless minions: True Love. She has located three perfect men for her neices, and all they have to do in return is ... well you'll have to read the book to find out.

Crusie, Dreyer and Stuart have given readers a book that mixes magic and mayhem, supernatural and sexy, humor and havoc. Its a fun ride the whole way around. And you'll never look at cobblestones in quite the same way again.

The Worst of Times, The Best of Times

My dad passed away on Father's Day. That should freak me out, but oddly enough it doesn't. Next year might be another matter but I'll deal with that then. There have been some very bad spots and I'm sure they will continue to crop up, catching me unawares. I want to say that we lost him too soon, but even if it had come 20 years from now instead, it would still have been too soon. Sometimes the sense of loss is just overwhelming. But I know that all of this is to be expected: it's part of the process I have to go through as I learn to let go. Underneath of all that, though, is an odd sense of peace. He wasn't in pain or distress and didn't leave behind loose ends, things undone, or words unsaid. I know with absolute certainty that he loved his family beyond measure. That he thoroughly enjoyed being a father and husband. He has left us, but without doubt or recriminations and with many wonderful memories. There are much worse ways to go.

My sister flew up from GA right away. Miraculously we actually got along for an entire week. In fact, as a family we were in unusual harmony when it came to the decisions that had to be made. I think Dad would have approved of the way we handled things, always keeping him in mind, how he felt about things and what would capture his spirit best.

Many years ago, Dad had this brown shirt that he wore all the time, every single weekend. It wasn't a very attractive shirt to begin with and didn't improve with age. We kept buying him new shirts, hoping he would take the hint but still that damned shirt would come out. It made my sister especially nuts and she used to give him a hard time about it. He just laughed and told her that he was going to leave it for her in his will. That was years ago and eventually we stopped seeing the shirt. This past week, my sister had asked my mom for something of Dad's that she could have. As Mom rummaged for his watch a memory hit me from out of the blue. "Well," I said, "I'm sure if we look through his drawers we'll be able to find that brown shirt. Dad always wanted you to have it." They both knew instantly what I was referring to and we all laughed. It was a shared memory and a good moment. I think that somewhere Dad was having a good laugh too.

My dad's family has an odd propensity for nicknames. My Aunt Pooks passed away some years ago, but my Aunt Sis is still with us. My grandmother was known to all her friends and neighbors as Birdie her whole life. My cousin Butch got his real name from his father, but I have no idea what Rocket's real name is. I do know how he got the nickname, though. My dad was driving Aunt Sis to the hospital as she was going into labor and they barely made it there in time. Dad said that the baby came out like a rocket, and the name stuck. Last week I had a phone call. "Hi, its Darlene." Darlene? I don't know anyone named Darlene. But there was something in the voice that struck a chord. Then she said, "Podie" and I knew immediately. Later when I saw her in person I told her not to use her real name if she called again because it just confused me. Hmmm, shades of the Bar&Grill in that.

We had a graveside service and it was just about perfect. The weather cooperated, the view was fabulous - mountains as far as the eye could see - and everyone turned out. Even an aunt and uncle of my Dad's. I'm not sure how old the aunt is but I know the uncle is about the same age as my dad. As I explained to my nephew later, my grandmother was the oldest of 21 kids! I have a newspaper clipping somewhere that dates back to WWII and gives details about the family, discussing the different ways they all contributed to the war effort. I have to dig that out and send it to him. By the time Gram's baby brother came along she was already working on a family of her own.

We all gathered again later at another aunt's house. Food and drink were plentiful and we shared some memories and some laughs. My youngest nephew and a cousin's boy went fishing and got good and wet as is only fitting for growing boys. Later on an uncle by marriage took the two of them for a long drive over and around the mountain where they got to see a few elk and even a black bear. My nephew was thrilled and I'm sure he will carry that memory with him for a long time.

My mother doesn't drink much, but she does enjoy her cider ... hard cider that is. Well there was beer aplenty at the house, but no cider. My BIL, bless his heart, is a born and bred flatlander, as they say up in those parts. An urban yuppie if there ever was one. But he bravely set out towards the local redneck bar in search of cider for Mom. I can just imagine the look he must have got from the locals when he asked for it. No, they didn't have any; but they did have Mike's Hard Lemonade which he brought back for Mom.

As the afternoon wore on, two decks of cards were brought out and we gathered around two tables - one in the kitchen and one on the covered deck - for a marathon session of 500 bid. My mother hadn't played since I was a kid, but she and my aunt skunked my cousins no less than four consecutive games. We laughed about the pairing off: girls against boys, aunts against nephews, sisters against brothers. Then we started switching off, the winners of each table playing against each other and new teams forming at the other table. My older nephew eventually got pulled into the game and, never having played before, still pulled off two fairly tricky hands. He and another cousin eventually brought Mom and my aunt down to earth before the evening ended.

It was a very difficult week, but the memories aren't all bad. I think Dad would approve.

Recent Reads

Because I know that most of you enjoy books as much as I do, and also because I can't think of another topic, I thought I would give you a run down on books I have recently enjoyed.

Currently I am reading a new author and I'm a little excited because the book is really pretty good. A new author is cause for excitement, don't you think? The book is A Faint Cold Fear and the author is Karin Slaughter. Yes, she does spell that with an "i." It's a mystery/suspense and I think part of a series. The character is a doctor in a small Georgia town who also doubles as the coroner. The body of a student from the nearby tech college is found by a bridge and it looks as if the kid commited suicide by jumping. But something just doesn't add up for the coroner and chief of police - who just happens to be the coroner's ex-husband. Then the coroner's pregnant sister disappears from the vicinity. So far it's a pretty good page-turner. The characters are fleshed out nicely and the plot is keeping me interested.

The last book I read was Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett. I liked the book a lot, as I do all Pratchett's books, but not as much as I like his City Watch series. This book involves the witch Granny Weatherwax who takes on the job of educating a young girl with powers. However, the girl's powers are not that of a witch, but that of a wizard and "the lore" says that women can't be wizards. Tradition and discrimination are the obvious themes in this book and Pratchett handles the subject in a fairly charming way. But it comes across a bit too strongly as a moral tale.

Much better are his City Watch books. Pratchett uses a lighter hand in these books, letting the characters drive the story. And in spite of their mythic quality (trolls, dwarves and werewolves to name a few) the characters have a familiar feel.

Also recently read was Bill Bryson's Neither Here Nor There. An adult Bryson tramps across Europe, revisiting locales from his backpacking youth. I think this book is shelved in the 'travel' section in bookstores (I got mine from the library) but I can't say I learned much about Europe from it. However Bryson's trademark humor comes through nicely and makes it all worthwhile. It's not up to the standards of his A Walk In The Woods but is a good read just the same.

Just before that I read Carl Hiaasen's Lucky You. I really have no idea how to describe Hiaasen's books. I guess you could call them 'suspense' for the sheer "I have no idea what is going to happen next" quality. In this book there are two winners of the Florida lottery. The heroine wants to use her share to purchase local acreage and keep it from being developed. The hero is a newspaper columnist sent to reluctantly interview her. And the other winner? A pair of racist, militia wannabe's that give rednecks a bad name. They decide that half the winnings aren't nearly enough. When they steal the heroine's lottery ticket, she and the columnist team up to track them down and it's a very wild ride. Where Hiaasen gets the inspiration for some of his characters is anybody's guess. They are so far out there that they might even be cartoonish if they weren't so well handled. I sometimes think of his books as being like driving past a particularly gruesome car accident. Part of me shies away from looking while the other part can't resist peeking.

The new Amanda Quick (AKA Jane Ann Krentz) book, The River Knows was very good. Unlike her other recent books this one did not center on the mysterious Arcane Society and I think I liked it all the better for that. It's a historical romance featuring the strong heroine and urbane heros that she writes so well. There is of course mystery and suspense mixed in but I mostly read her books because they are so much fun.

And lastly (well not my last book, but the last one I'm going to mention here) is Jane Haddam's Glass Houses. It's the most recent in her Gregor Demarkian series, but could easily stand alone if you aren't caught up. Gregor is acting as a consultant to the Chicago police departon on a serial killing dubbed "the plate-glass" murders by the press; but he is distracted by the return of his errant lover Bennis Hanniford. Haddam tends to give a lot of backstory in her books but she does so with skill. In this respect her writing reminds me of Ngaio Marsh. She writes a good mystery and this one is no exception. But really I read her for the characters that populate Gregor's world, the mostly Armenian neighborhood of Cavanaugh Street. As I said, this book stands alone very nicely but it is worth reading them in order (starting with Not a Creature Was Stirring) to watch as Gregor and his relationship with Bennis arc throughout the series.

That's it for now.

Hear me roar

I cut the grass in the backyard today. Oooh, you say. Big news. Thanks so much for sharing that. Smartass.

Here's the deal. When I bought the townhouse years ago my parents moved in too. This would be a major trauma for a lot of people but it works for us. The reasons are too complicated to go into here, but the main thing is that it works for us most of the time. And part of this arrangement is that my dad handles most of the 'guy' things, like bugs in the house, leaky pipes and the lawn.

So fast forward to present day. As you all know my dad has been going through some tough stuff. We're dealing. But I am now faced with doing all those little things that I had taken for granted before. Bug in the house? "Dad!" Leaky pipe? "Dad!" and so on. A few weeks back I realized that I was going to lose the cat in the backyard one of these days if I didn't do something about it. No problem, I'm a modern woman, right?

Turns out there's this little part of me deep down in that still believes some things are meant for men to handle. Like bugs in the house, for instance. Also lawnmowers. Some primeval thing inside of me insists that it's a 'guy' thing. This thing was so strong that I couldn't even bring myself to remove the cover from the lawnmower, so I improvised with the weed wacker. Okay, go ahead and laugh; but it worked. In fact it's worked twice now and if it was a little ragged it was also not bad for a make-do job, if I do say so myself. But ...

Couldn't go on that way indefinitely. For one thing even with such a small yard it takes time. Plus the damn weed wacker kept coming unplugged. They should elasticize the electrical cords, that's all I'm saying. Why nobody has thought of that yet is beyond me. And it's not as though I am inept when it comes to household stuff. I don't say I'm good at it, but I'm not completely helpless.

So anyway I finally bit the bullet tonight. I waited until late in the day when it was cooler (and coincidentally a lot fewer neighbors around to watch me make a fool of myself) and uncovered the mower. After dragging it into the middle of the yard I stood back and assessed the situation. What did I know about this mower? It ran on gas. So the gas must go someplace, right? And um, maybe we should make sure it has enough to do the job before we go forward? Ya think? Found the cap and unscrewed it and something sloshed around in there so I decided I had gas. Next I knew I was supposed to yank on the cord thingie and, theoretically, the mower would, hey presto! start. So I pulled. And literally pulled up short. Couldn't make it budge more than six inches or so and the mower showed no signs of life. Back to assessing. My thought process went something like this:

What's this wire thingie up here by the handle? There wouldn't be a wire there if it weren't supposed to do something right? Okay, mower = guy thing, so who knows? But the wire is attached to a line and it looks like that runs down the handle to the where even I know the motor is cased. So it must do something.

So I pulled back on the wire thingie and pulled back on the cord thingie and hey presto! still nothing happened.


*sigh* It looks so easy when Dad does it. Alright, I'm a reasonably intelligent adult, I should be able to figure this out. Back again to the assessing. What's this little red button down here by the motor? Hmmmm. Looks promising. There's some writing next to it. Most of the writing is worn away but I think I can read the word "prime." Prime what? Prime time? Prime of life (well it's a fairly young mower)? Prime cut (now wouldn't that be a neat play on words?)

Prime cut, lawn mower ... get it? Never mind. Then it occurs to me that the mower has been sitting there since last fall which means no fuel has passed through the whatzit, the thing that burns the fuel. So ... could this be prime as in "priming a pump"? And what do I know about priming a pump? Not much. Never done it. But I've heard of it, I mean I READ so I know lots of bits and pieces of mostly useless information one of which is that sometimes pumps need a running start, so to speak. I don't know why this is necessary because though I am well read, I am also an urban child.

Anyway I looked all over the mower and that red button was the only thing I could see that I hadn't tried so ... I pushed it. And nothing happened. So I pushed it again and still nothing happened. Then I went back to the other end of things, pulled back on the wire thingie and gave the cord another go and ...

IT STARTED! Of course I got so excited that I let go of the wire thingie and the motor shut down. I guess it's a safety thing, since it pretty much forces you to be behind the mower when you are running it. But at least this time I knew what to do. In fact I didn't even need the little red button this time because there's already fuel in the whatzit. So at last my backyard got cut and it is ever so much neater than the weed wacker job. Although I do still need to get out the weed wacker. At least I already know how to use that one. But first I need to invent an elastic power cord so I'll have get back to you.

Something else to look at

Here are a few pictures from my yard, in case you are at all interested. I would say my "garden" but I haven't done much with that this year. But I do have a few things blooming. Notably my climatis which has really staged a come back. Last year I cut out a lot of old stuff and then spent the winter biting my nails worrying that I ruined it. I guess not. Normally I make an effort to train it as it grows but, again, my head just hasn't been in it this year.

This is a close up of some pansies I had put in just before winter last year. I like to do that, put in the pansies at the last minute, because they winter over so nice. Sometimes I can spy the odd bloom even in January. And then come spring they really take off. But they don't like the heat much so they'll need to come out before too long. Still, its nice to look out and see those colorful faces when everything else is still brown. And you get a little bit closer look at the climatis in the background.

I bought some big pots last year and put in a few plants, some more pansies and something ... I forget now but some kind of perennial. Except I think the squirrels got to them over the winter. So a few weeks ago I went and got a flat of snapdragons to fill up all that empty. I just wanted some quick and easy color. They seem to be doing well. Just today I did some deadheading, snipping back to encourage new growth and blooms. Hopefully they'll fill out

Here's What's Up *updated*

**Update at the bottom**

Okay, I know some folks have been wondering what's been going on with my dad. I wasn't deliberately keeping it from ya'll, just that I wasn't sure for a few days what to tell you. Plus most of you have been on this ride with me from the beginning and might have needed to step off the roller coaster for a bit. I know I've been feeling that way. Here's what happened.

Dad was home from the hospital following a brief return because of swelling around the area of his surgery which was making him loopy. You may recall that at the start of our story Dad was having a tumor removed from his brain. Surgery went well, a few set backs then to rehab then home where he was doing fabulously until the swelling episode.

So Dad was home and doing okay, though not great. We know this is going to take time. But then he seemed to be getting weaker plus had this cough so we were going to take him back to the docs. The night before this was to take place he took a bad fall. I won't go into that nightmare but I will tell you that there was no damage done to his brain. In fact considering how awful things appeared he did relatively minor damage, but it did mean a call to 911 and a trip to the emergency room. While there they of course did head scans and then when Mom noticed Dad grabbing his side when coughing they did chest xrays (yeah, Dad was going to tough it out and not mention that his ribs hurt) and discovered cracked ribs. They also discovered what appeared to be a small spot of pneumonia. Well we knew he had the cough, but we didn't know he was that sick. Turns out he wasn't, yet, but it probably would have turned worse quickly so the fall was a blessing in disguise. Anyway they decide to keep him but the hospital that the emergency people took us to was not contracted with their insurance and the insurance requested he be moved to a contracted hospital. This is actually not the biggie it sounds like because the hospital he ended up at is not terribly far from home and actually a very nice hospital with a really good reputation. So it's okay that this happened, really. And they took care of the transfer and everything, it didn't require us to do anything.

Anyway, at the new hospital they checked everything over again, of course, and asked about his meds and the fall and yada yada. They decided that the steroids he was taking for the swelling in the brain probably caused the weakness that led to the fall. So the started weaning him off of it but then he started getting loopy after a few days. Also his breathing was becoming very labored. Lots of tests followed: new CT scan, eeg, xrays, blood work - you name it. Everything came back looking good except for that spot of pneumonia in the xray and they were treating it with antibiotics.

They moved him from a regular room to CCU in order to keep a closer eye on him. They decided that the loopiness might have been caused from taking him off of the steroids too quickly so he's on a small dose, partly for that and partly for his breathing problems. Plus the antiobiotics via iv. Plus he gets this nebulizer thing to breath from every six hours. (Literary reference: I told him it makes him look like the caterpillar from ALICE IN WONDERLAND.) In the meantime they also did a swallow test which came back inconclusive. The test was because he still has this roughish cough but nothing much coming up, and they want to determine whether his swallow/breath reflex is off and maybe something worked its way into an air passage. But as I said it was inconclusive. So they put him on intrevenous diet for two days and ran the test again to get a better idea. That went pretty well so they moved him up to soft foods and he's been doing well on those so maybe back to regular food today. We shall see.

He is still very very weak and tires easily but his oxygen levels are much better and the xray he had yesterday morning shows his lungs are looking pretty good. Two days ago he was moved from CCU to a 'step down' room which is something between CCU and a regular room for a few days and now it looks like he's ready to go to a rehabilitation facility for a bit to get his strength back. There's a really nice place near home, quite upscale, that the insurance will cover so we're hoping for that. As I said, he's still terribly weak and tires very easy, which worries Mom and I; but no new health issues are coming out, so they feel the next step is recovery and rehabilitation.

It's still a one day at a time deal and that's how we're trying to take it. Mom and I are very tired but make a pretty good team.

**Update**

So we got Dad checked into the rehabilitation facility this afternoon. These things don't move quickly so it was late afternoon before he was picked up for transport and evening by the time he was settled in. Mom and I both had a pretty good feel about the place. Staff was friendly and Dad has his own room, small but private. Hopefully our first impression will bear out. It's only about 15 minutes from home, as the crow flies; a little bit more at rush hour but still pretty darned close.

Thanks for being there, all of you. It means a lot to me.

Bright and Shiny People

Life has been a little rocky for my family the last few months. As some of you know, my dad had surgery at the beginning of February to remove a tumor from his brain. It went very well and his recovery was well underway when suddenly there was a bump in the road that set him back. Mentally he's good, thank you, God. But physically he is very weak and has a long recovery road ahead of him. Things were very scary for a few weeks, and I'm still not able to relax at all. It may be a long time yet before I can. But this week so far has been fairly smooth. Infinitesimally small signs of progress.

It been a very hard couple of months, and I've had some tough days. One particularly bad one when I just sort of lost it. But even through the bad days and the exhaustion there have been some bright moments. Actually there have been some wonderful people who made the moments bright. And this is my little homage to them, in no particular order.

To the friends who listened and delivered hugs and distraction and were just generally there when I needed someone to just, well, listen and be there. That is not a little thing, let me tell you. If someone out there that you know is going through a tough time, and maybe you feel helpless to be of practical assistance, please don't hesitate to LISTEN. You don't have to fix things for them if you can't. The therapeutic value of a good listener is beyond price.

To the social worker at the VA who will always be in my family's prayers. She did her job and beyond. She was a guiding light in our time of trouble. You tend to only hear the negative about certain professions and I certainly didn't know much about this one before. I can tell you now that there are really really GOOD people in that profession. How they manage to keep from burning out is beyond me.

To my coworkers, bosses and supervisors who took a huge weight from my shoulders. You trusted me to be there and to do my job well when I could. And when I had to be elsewhere you understood. Not by one word, deed, thought or implication did I ever feel pressured. This whole thing would have been unbearable if I had had to choose. I didn't.

To the folks who have come into our home for nursing and therapy. Yeah, its your job. But you do it well and with compassion. You do it with understanding too, helping us find ways to make this work. And you did so with so little fuss that it felt almost seamless.

To the family members who took time to help us meet appointments, make things safer in the home, gave us a needed break from responsibility now and then, or just called to say that we were all in your thoughts and prayers ... we are blessed to have you in our lives.

To the guy who fixed that dent in my car and while he was at it fixed the squealing in my brakes without even saying anything ... yes I noticed, and yes it was appreciated. A moment of your time, maybe; but another small weight from my shoulders.

To the squirrel guys who walked into more than they expected when they came to deal with our little problem in the attic. You not only showed up when we needed you, you acted with grace and compassion. You'll get paid in cash for the job you came for; you'll get paid in memories and prayers for the rest.

To Kelly, my cat, who put up with benign neglect while everything was going on, things you didn't understand. And even though you HATE change and upheaval, you have stayed sweet and affectionate.

There are so many more people who did little things, things so small that they've probably forgotten about them. But those small things, person by person, action by action, have added up. Truly there are angels, and they walk amongst us.

Pictures and Other Stuff

First and foremost, a picture of the April 1 (no foolin'!) CB meet in Crystal City, VA. Starting at the left and going around are Dee, RSS, Moe (CC's sister), CC, her friend Karen, JenB and Moi. I take extremely bad pictures so please ignore that corner of the photo. We met up at a restaurant called King Street Blues in the Crystal City Mall. It was nearly the only thing open since the Mall normally caters to the office crowd and this was a Sunday. So if you are planning to visit there sometime, go on a weekday. But we had a great time. Dee, CC and JenB provided presents!! In the form of books, chocolate and bookmarks. Boy do those girls know their CBs or what? Also margaritas were consumed as was bread pudding. We'll be remembering that bread pudding for a long time to come.






Second, take a look at the plant on the right and the close up below this paragraph. This is a plant that my mom grew from a cutting, taken from my sister's plant which she in turn grew from a cutting taken from my aunt. Nobody remembers for sure what its called anymore. I can tell you that mom has been nursing this plant along for a lot of years and it only just recently decided to bloom for her. The flowers are tiny star shapes, as you can see, that bud in the form of a pentagon. They are real as can be but have a waxy feel to them. Also a very strong, kinda spicy smell. If anyone recognizes it we would appreciate it if you'd let us know what its called. My aunt thought it was something like hoya but she's not sure.




















Lastly, and completely unrelated to the photos, I recently reread Tom Clancy's The Hunt for Red October. I'd read it waaaay back when it first came out in the 80s and enjoyed it. Don't know what possessed me to check it out of the library recently but I'm glad I did because its a darned fine read. Okay, a lot of info dump. But even that doesn't bother me so much because it helps set the mood of the story for me. In fact I would have said that I really didn't care for info dump in a book but I have to say Clancy did a fine job with it. It reminds me of watching CSI on tv and watching them use cool gadgets and mix chemicals and stuff. I have no clue what they are really doing, but I like watching it. Oh, and as an aside, my mother once met a guy who claimed he was Tom Clancy's brother. Mom says he was very convincing so maybe he really was. I don't suppose that's really all that interesting is it?

Family, Gotta Love 'em ... I Suppose

I'll start this blog entry by saying, very sincerely, that I have a wonderfully close and caring family. I'm very lucky in this respect. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea, that I might not appreciate how blessed I am. I do know. Honest.

But nobody has the power to make me crazy faster. And nobody else thinks they have a God given right to do so. Why is that? Why is it that the people who love you most seem determined to send you to the funny farm? I sometimes find myself wishing for a nice dysfunctional family that ignored each other. Okay, not really. *sigh* Its just a little fantasy I indulge in once in a while.

I was having a conversation with my mom, with whom I really do have a great relationship - she's the best - and we were talking about how mom is still friends with girls she knew when she was a kid. I mean they've been friends for more than 50 years, how cool is that? Well I don't have 50 year friendships, mostly because I'm not 50 yet; but I do have one really tight 25+ years friendship. Maybe its been 28? I've lost count. And I have in the last few years collected a few more friendships of the type I really hope will last a good long time. You can never tell about that.

So talking to mom about her friends and talking about my friends, old and new, and I realized that a close family relationship is important but the person who doesn't have other good people in their life is the person who is really missing out on something. Because as great as family is, well they all have too much emotional baggage invested of their own. And family feels way too comfortable with their status so they feel free to be annoying. Plus which having known you your whole life they think they know you when in reality they know you just well enough to punch your buttons.

But friends ... friends care just enough to listen without telling you what to do. Or just enough to know when you need to not talk. The best situation is to have many different friends, to varying degrees. That way you aren't dumping too much on one person all the time. That's important. Because unlike family your friends are there by choice so they are relationships you have to be careful not to take for granted.

But I do love my family. I just need my little fantasy once in a while.

So anyway

Recently I decided that I would like to learn something new. I like to learn things, even if I never use the information. These days things I learn have a distressing tendency to leave me pretty quickly. This is a new experience for me. I used to have a mind like a ... you know those thingies they put out to catch wild animals. Except I think they've been outlawed as being cruel. Which may be why I can't think of it.

What was I saying? Oh, yes. Learning stuff. The other problem is lack of time. After work I just want to go home and relax. Weekends are usually full of chores and errands. If I have free time then I usually spend it with friends or enjoying doing nothing. I'm really good at doing nothing. Well not really nothing because that would be staring out into space. Which I can be good at also. Except even then I'm usually doing something even if you can't tell. But trust me, my mind is busy. With what? Um ... let me get back to you on that.

I have friends who are writers, and they are always talking about people talking in their heads. I have that. And no they aren't just voices. I have whole story lines going on inside my head. I just don't have the ambition to write them down. Those writer friends talk about the people in their heads bugging them to put it all on paper. Well not on paper, really. Who does that these days? But they put it in their computer. The people in my head seem to be quite content to stay there. I guess they don't have much ambition either.

I guess I don't have much ambition in general or else I would be moved to actually "get out there." Well, I'm not. Out there is too demanding. Out there requires a schedule that you have to stick to which leads to rushing around which feels too much like a job. I have one of those already. And you end up missing TV shows. Not that there's anything good on right now anyway, unless you like basketball. Not a huge sports fan here. I used to go to games in school but that was school spirit stuff. Most of the time I had no clue what was going on.

And speaking of which, where was I? Right, right. Learning stuff.

And I don't even watch a lot of TV either. But I have certain shows I do enjoy and it ticks me off that I only watch a handfull of hours during the week and they've taken that from me.

Huh? Oh yeah. Learning stuff.

See, I don't watch a lot of TV because most of the time I prefer to read. And then there are all those story lines in my head. There's this one in the 13th century. Or maybe 14th? Would it really matter? Its pretty good, if I can only figure out why an intelligent woman would be out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a storm. But I'm working on it.

Okay, OKAY! Geez. So I decided to learn a new language. I took Spanish in school but that was a long time ago. And besides which, what's the fun of learning a language a lot of other people already know? I debated between French and Italian. Italian I thought would be really cool, because who else speaks it? Except Italians, I mean. But then I thought of all the Dorothy Sayers books I've enjoyed and they often have bits of French in them because Lord Peter, that's the character, is both well educated and well read. I'm not sure why knowing French equates with being well read. Anyway I thought it would be cool to learn some French and then when I see stuff like that in books I'll know what they are saying.

So I want to learn French but I don't want the hassle of a scheduled class. Plus which I remember those long ago Spanish classes and they made you learn grammar and other boring stuff. Not that grammar isn't important. Bad grammar bugs me. Bad punctuation bugs me even more. And this deal with text messaging where they type everything lower case and abbreviate everything ... very annoying.

Sorry. Back to learning something. I figured out that what I really wanted was more of a conversational French. I do audio books, downloading and stuff, and I found one that will teach you basic conversational French. And so far its not boring. Also, if I ever get to France I can now order coffee. With milk. Heck, I can even do tea with sugar. I'm still working on bread, cheese and wine. I'll get there.

And speaking of wine, can you tell that I was writing this while drinking a big glass of white? Well I did put the glass down while using the keyboard. Except for those words that only required the right hand.

*sigh* I almost put this under the Midless Rambling category. Put the glass DOWN, McB! And I didn't even have one of those. Categories, I mean. The glass I had. Its empty now. So I guess this blog is done.

On your FM dial ...

I've spent more time than I like to think about sitting in a car the last 6 weeks or so. Really I don't mind long drives as a rule because I'm not a person who needs a lot of distraction and I'm very happy lost in my thoughts, listening to an audiobook or singing along with the radio. Which brings me to the title of this blog.

I don't usually use my iPod in the car unless its a longish trip, like two hours or more. I dislike getting out my iPod only to have to tuck it away, along with the thingie that allows me to listen to it through my radio, when I arrive at my destination. I'm not dumb enough to leave them in full view of anyone who wants to test their carjacking skills. So rather than getting everything out just to put them away again a short time later, I usually just listen to the radio if I'm only running errands and so forth.

As it happens most of my in car time lately has been just under the one hour mark which is why I was searching desperately for a good radio station recently. This really should not have been a problem because my taste in music is pretty eclectic. I enjoy jazz, oldies, C&W ... lots of stuff. Unless its all thumping bass ... can't stand that, makes me feel postal. But it seems like your standard stations these days all have a playlist of about 20 songs, whatever the most recent big hits are, and they play them over and over again. I start out liking a song well enough but if I hear it too often I'm going to burn out on the song. Was radio like this when I was a teenager?

Anyway I was getting desperate and flipping up and down the dial trying to find something that I would enjoy listening to for more than a few minutes at a time. And 'lo and behold I found two stations. One is a smallish station that I lose if the wind is wrong or the road dips. But the other is a fairly big deal, as far as I can tell. They're not based out my my 'home city' which is why I didn't know about them before - no local advertising. But I can get the signal pretty well so I'm happy.

In fact I'm really really happy because although both stations advertise as playing 'lite' music, what they really play, both of them, is a very nice mix of music from the 60s on up to present day including some decent rock, the good stuff before everyone tried to reinvent it. But its basically a mix and includes some of everything. You can go from Billy Joel one moment to Tim McGraw the next. Eclectic ... like me.

In fact the one station, out of Baltimore, has "flashback weekends" which are a blast because they are playing all music from the 60s and 70s which is what I cut my radio teeth on, those being my formative years. Say what you will about the music of yesterday, but you can't beat it for singing along with on an open highway. As a bonus, you can listen through your computer as well. And as my little gift to you, I'm including the link here ...
http://1019litefm.com/index.php.

Go ahead, turn it up and roll down that car window, metaphorically speaking, and enjoy some "real" music for a while.

Because Dee Told Me To

And if you know Dee then, really, 'nuff said. But seriously, I've read several of Lani's books now and they are all GREAT. She's a fabulous and funny author. Read the book, you won't regret it.



http://deeanddeedish.blogspot.com/2007/03/fab-many-faces-of-romance-week.html

The Fortune Quilt by Lani Diane Rich

Carly McKay's life is going just fine until she produces a television piece on psychic quilt maker Brandywine Seaver and receives a quilt with an enigmatic reading telling her that everything is about to change. Carly blows off the reading until it comes true. Her boss runs off with all the station's assets, leaving her jobless; her best friend, Christopher, proclaims his (unrequited) love for her, leaving her friendless; and her mother, who deserted the family seventeen years ago, returns, sending Carly into a serious tilt.Convinced it's the quilt's fault, Carly races down to the small artists' community of Bilby, Arizona, to confront its maker, and ends up with an unexpected friend in Brandy - and in Will, the laid-back painter who rents the cabin next door. With quirky new buddies and no more deadlines, Carly starts to enjoy her reimagined life, until her old one comes calling. Now Carly has to decide what parts of each world she wants to patchwork in.. and how much she's willing to leave to fate.

Curiosities

Things I've noticed and wondered about just lately.

In Baltimore they place these signs, skinny little things, between the lanes. I don't mean between north and south bound, but between lanes in the same direction. The sings are there to warn you to be careful in the pedestrian walkways. Here's the thing: they aren't there every day. So ... Apparently someone has the job of picking up these signs and then putting them back. Sounds like a sweet deal to me. Also, you have to wonder, does this mean that you don't have to be careful all the time but only when the signs are there? In either case there's a particular irony at work here because as far as I can tell Baltimorean have no clue that crosswalks exist.

There's a sign on route 70 just west of Baltimore that lists 4 cities and their distances. Columbus is, I think, 420. Next was St. Louis at 800+ (I don't remember exactly), then Denver at a nice round 1700, followed by some city I've never heard of but which is apparently 2200 mi. away. I've never heard of it but since it made the sign you have to figure it has some claim to fame.

The next town down from mine there's a community known as Shady Grove. As you cross this bridge into a shopping area there they have these giant G' carved into the stone work. In the center of the G is a big tree. I guess the tree is for the shady part the G for the Grove. Anyway, from a certain angle, the tree/G thing looks like the profile of a giant nose.

That's all I've got for now. Stay tuned.

Adventures in Baltimore

So if you've wandered over here to my Blog you are probably a CherryBomb. And if you are a CherryBomb you probably know that my dad has been in the VA hospital over in Baltimore where he had surgery. I've caught you up on that, I think. But here's what you don't know about what's been going on.

First, Baltimore is all one way streets. And very few of them are going in the direction you need. Its diabolical.

Second, Baltimore has a trolley or cable car thing. I did not know this before last week in spite of living relatively close. Well I guess I've only visited the Inner Harbor tourist area, that's why.

Third, if you miss a turn off from the expressway you are not lost. The same streets will intersect the next street. However you will be a little further away from your destination.

Fourth, if you find yourself a little further away and need to work your way back to familiar cross streets, it is wise to think twice before making a left turn onto a block you've never visited before.

Fifth, said block may be one of the streets the cable car travels. And if you didn't know it was there before it can come as a hugh shock to find this honking huge 'bus thingy bearing down in your direction.

Sixth, if you squeeze over to the right, stop the car and close your eyes, the cable car will go past without incident.

Seventh, the experience can leave you terrified and desperate for the street you want so that you don't notice certain important road signs.

Eighth, you are not supposed to make left turns from the same block the cable car travels.

Ninth, the traffic cops know all about this little problem.

Tenth, they don't care.

Oh, and Edgar Allen Poe's grave is only a few short blocks from the VA.

They Don't Know Me Very Well, Do They?

That title sounds a bit like I'm going to divulge deep dark secrets, doesn't it? Ha. Fooled you. No, I was just feeling introspective. It has occured to me that I have many terrific people in my life. I really do. Smart people. Funny people. Incredibly good and caring people. And I have no idea why they put up with me.

Here's the thing, I'm not a nice person. I'm cranky a good bit of the time. I'm often impatient. I'm a know-it-all. I can be very sarcastic and cynical. I'm also a bit of a hermit and have been known to shun the company of others in favor of a good book.

But these people insist on staying in my life anyway. They talk to me without being cornered. They spend, sometimes, multiple hours in my company by choice. And when I start in ranting about something, they smile patiently as if they understand all about my dark side and love me anyway. Is it that they really don't know these things about me? Or do they find me absurdly fascinating and can't look away, like watching a train wreck about to happen. But no, these are good people. They wouldn't do anything so gauche.

Maybe they aren't as intelligent and insightful as I give them credit for, since they can't seem to see what's right under their noses. Or maybe, as Julie Andrews sang in "The Sound of Music," somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I must have done something good.

I don't have an explanation. But I am absurdly, ridiculously thankful for every one of you.

Keeping My Hands Busy

Over at the Grill there was a recent post asking what kinds of crafts the CBs are interested in. I've done lots of needlework over the years, trying my hand at embroidery, candlewicking, crewel, cross stitch (and I might go back to it one of these days) and knitting. But the one that I always come back to is crochet. Mostly afghans and baby stuff when someone I know is getting married or having a baby. But I've done a few for the house as well. Here's a sampling:

This is the first one I ever did. It was easy enough but all those zig zagging stripes made me dizzy. Plus each stripe was only one row and I couldn't carry the yarn over so I had a zillion ends to weave in when I was done. Never again, I have vowed.



This one I really like. This picture is close up so that you can really see the pattern. Its called Garden Trellis and I think its very aptly named. It does look a bit like ivy on a trellis, don't you think? And I was surprised at how easily it worked up. I liked this one so much that I did it again in red and gray. Didn't look at all like a trellis with the different colors but it turned out great. I don't have a picture of it though.


Here are two pictures of the last afghan I did, with one being close up to show the colors and pattern better. I don't think the colors show true in the picture though. The three used are a deep wine, forest green, and a wine, green and blue variegated. It was done in strips, alternating colors.

Then the strips were sewn together to give a plaid effect. I really like the finished product but I hated sewing them together. Probably why it took me forever to finish.

This is the one I'm working on now. In the pattern they used shades of brown and cream, but I wanted something more colorful, while still being subtle. I'm making it for a friend's wedding and I know the furniture they've decided on (chosen from their respective living rooms) is blue and tan. So I went with a denim blue for the main color, thinking it will work with anything, alternating with royal purple and winter white. I've got a long way to go on this one yet.

We Control Our Own Destinies

Okay, relax. I'm not going all new-age on you, no chanting or mantras will be required, okay?

I was thinking about all the crap that happens which is really beyond our control (like the disposal breaking down during the big Christmas Eve dinner party, requiring you to wash your dishes in the bath tub - and this happened to my sister) and how some people will laugh, or curse, and then move on while others wail against cruel, cruel fates. I suppose some people are wired to experience things more dramatically, but that excuse only works up to a point. Because eventually you have to move past it. I mean crap happens to everyone regardless of race, creed or religion. Human nature might have you venting or whining a bit, but sooner or later you have to realize that you aren't accomplishing anything and people have stopped listening. Move on.

But that's for crap beyond our control. What I really want to write about today is destiny. Because I believe that destiny doesn't "just happen." Was it Shakespeare who said that our fates lie in ourselves? He had a point.

I figure that life is like a long road trip. There's childhood when you are mostly a passenger, but then you move up front and get behind the wheel. And once you are behind that wheel, you can go anywhere. The road is yours and no destination is too far. You are in control. The thing is, you have to know how to deal with the sharp curves, what the road signs mean, how to handle a flat tire, and how to read a map. Being stupid behind the wheel is just, well, stupid. And if you take a left turn when you should have taken a right turn, or take a curve to fast, well its not the cruel fates that got you lost or had you skidding off the road. You're the one in control. You're the one making the decisions. Yeah, even the bad ones. Like when you took that shortcut and got so lost.

But if life has dumped some crap on you, and we ALL get shat upon sooner or later, its not the end of the ride. Its just a detour. Sure its a little scary, but you have your trusty map, a full tank of gas, and air in the tires. See being in control isn't just about getting someplace. Its about getting there in one piece. And sometimes you make amazing discoveries when you get off the expressway. You might even end up someplace better than you had planned. That's okay, you aren't lost. You're just in a different place.

We're behind the steering wheel, in control of our own destinies. But maybe we should keep an open mind about where we're going. Stop and smell the flowers, sing along with car radio, check out that quaint little shop along side the road. What's the hurry anyway. Life is about the journey. Destiny is really just the end.

Happy Harriett Homeowner

Ten years ago last spring I became a homeowner. I'll never forget the mixed feeling of pride and nausea. Hey, a house, even a tiny little townhouse, is a BIG debt and I don't handle debt well. But it's actually gone very well. As I was preparing to make the decision, my parents were going through some stuff and we decided to pool our resources by having them move in with me. They help out with utilities and groceries and other odds and ends, and in return this has allowed me more flexible income than I would otherwise have. So its all good.

For the first few years I was too paranoid about spending more money to do much, but little by little it became necessary. First the heat pump went. As it was over 20 years old at the time, well past what how long I was told it would last, there was no shame in this. And being paranoid I had the money in the bank to cover it. And you know, it turned out to be a very good thing, because the new one is so much more efficient.

Shortly thereafter we had this freak spring hailstorm that left hail several inches deep on the front lawn - that's no exaggeration. We had to shovel it from the sidewalks and even though it was spring weather, there was enough that it lingered in the shadier corners of the yard for more than 24 hours. Weird. And as it happens, destructive as well. We started noticing this 'stuff' all over the back deck after a rain. Turns out it was grit from the roof shingles. So we called the insurance who sent an adjuster to look at it. The guy said it looked like someone had taken a hammer to the roof! The insurance paid up and we got nice new shingling on the roof at no cost to me ... yippee!!

The way the house is designed you can see some of the shingling from one angle and the shiney new roof made the paint on the house look pretty shabby. Well I had never like the colors the original owners had used anyway. A sort of mustard brown trim on yellow. So I made calls and got estimates (one of which was completely outrageous and I was shocked that they bothered to call and ask why they didn't get the job) and settled on a contractor to do the job with nice new colors. The palest possible gray with a dark burgundy almost but not quite brown, trim. It looks good while still contrasting with the neighbors.

Then the fridge went and had to be replaced (and you wouldn't believe how long it took us to figure out why the milk kept going sour - duh), followed by the hot water heater. At least I think that was the next thing. And then the oven failed. And then the dryer started smoking. Well this was all over a couple of years, not all at once. But the point is by the time 2006 rolled around I had replaced nearly every appliance. That was also the year I paid off my car. So I figured this was the time to take the plunge and do some elective maintentance stuff, i.e. getting new floors. But so far just the first floor. Baby steps.

I think the original owners had put in el cheapo carpeting to get the house sold. In truth it didn't look bad when we moved in. But over time the carpet stretched and wrinkled and, well, it just didn't wear well. Even steam cleaning it only did so much. Plus there was this really yucky linoleum running from the foyer back to the kitchen. I had always hated it. So the prospect of getting this all replaced was very exciting!

I knew I wanted the new laminate stuff because several people I knew had it and they all raved about. Plus I thought getting rid of carpeting would make the rooms seem bigger and cut down on the amount of dust. I hemmed and hawed for awhile trying to decide, but below is what I ended up with. They just finished the weekend before Christmas. Well they didn't have enough quarter molding to finish the job so they will be coming back. But it still looks great, don't you think?

This first photo is of the kitchen. Looks like stone, doesn't it? I'm really pleased with it. Getting the cupboards and counter replaced is another project for the future. Right now I'm just enjoying the floor.
This one is from the kitchen going into the hall and foyer. I love the tones in this floor. It wasn't my first choice, actually. I'd changed my mind almost at the last minute and I'm sooo glad I did.
The hall and kitchen are on the left side of the house as you enter the front door. This photo is of the living and dining rooms, to the right side of the front door. They are not as big as this picture makes them look, though. Its partly the absence of carpeting (I was right about that) and partly the angle of the camera. Oh, I had also replaced the curtain over the slide doors at the far end of this photo. That was about 2 years ago. What you see is a combination of sheers and verticle blinds. Its hard to explain, but was exactly what we needed there. That end of the house gets full sun in the morning. I like natural light and hated having to keep the curtain closed, but the morning sun was blinding otherwise. What I ended up with allows us to direct the light coming in rather than closing it out; at the same time it has the look of drapes rather than blinds.

"3:00 in the morning, and it looks like its gonna be another sleepless night ..."

That's the first line of a song, by the way. Crystal Gail I think. She had some stuff out on the country charts back in the 70s. But anyhoo, here I am at 3 in the morning wide awake. Just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I'm putting it to good use here. Aren't you lucky?

Tomorrow (or I guess technically today) is New Year's Eve. That has nothing to do with why I'm awake, but its a place to start this blog. No this is not about resolutions, I don't do them. I do view the new year as a fresh start, though. I think everyone needs one of those about once a year so why not now?

Over at Jenny Crusie's blog she talks about having a list of indulgences rather than resolutions and I like that idea. We tend to think of indulging as a negative thing, but its not. An indulgence is a reward. Something to make getting up in the morning worthwhile. I mean if all you had to look forward to was another day of self improvement it would get old fast. But we all have responsibilities and obligations and things we have to do as responsible members of society. That's just part of regular life. An indulgence is the treat we give our souls for doing what's expected the rest of the time. Its like allowing yourself dessert once in a while even though you're on a diet. Its okay to set down the burden once in a while, to take a rest. It makes carrying that load a bit more bearable.

So, my indulgences ...

1. Spend more time with people who make me laugh and less time with people I have to bite my tongue around. Nobody likes a martyr so why let someone suck the life out of you if you have a choice?

2. Give myself more days off this year. Days when I don't need to speak to another person if I don't want to. Can't live like that all the time, of course. But as much as I enjoy the people in my life, I need some downtime, some alone time. Time with just some soft music and a book with no interruptions. My soul demands it. And I know that doing this will allow be to be more "there" for other people. So its good for everyone.

3. Find new authors that excite me. (Yep there's a definite theme going here with the books.) This means I'll have to be adventurous at the library which is not exactly a burden. The thing is there are a limited number of really good authors out there and most of them put out maybe one book a year if they are prolific. I need more books than that people! So I need to find more people writing them. I picked up 2 this past year and its been so much fun!

4. Get back to crocheting. Its something I enjoy and now that I have the iPod for listening to audiobooks I can enjoy both things at the same time so I'm not neglecting my love of books. The thing is, there's something therapeutic about crocheting. Like gardening except you can do it year 'round. Once you get into it you only need to use a small portion of your brain while your hands go about doing a repetitive task. This allows your conscious mind to drift, sorting itself out. You are just busy enough thinking about your stitches that you can't overthink other stuff. Basically its like a vacation for your conscious mind. For me its crocheting and gardening, but for you it might be refinishing furniture or tying flies. But I think everyone should have something like this to turn to.

5. Listen to more music. I like many kinds of music and listening makes me feel good. But in my house the tv is almost always on. I like tv as much as the next person but really most of the time its just noise. I have a handfull of shows I really look forward to, and the occasional movie, but mostly its stuff I don't care about. The thing with tv, though, is its addictive. It draws your attention against your will and you later discover you've completely wasted an hour or more when you could have been doing something you really enjoy, rather than spending that time watching ... something you can't even remember now. So I'm going to walk away from the tv, go to another room, and just listen. Maybe while I read a book.

Why I don't volunteer

I know, all the good people volunteer. They offer their services, they take charge, the have their fingers in all the pies. I don't. I'm not a Scrooge; I'm not adverse to helping out, doing my part, etc. It has nothing to do with not wanting to help out.

The reason I'm posting this topic has less to do with the holiday season than it sounds. Yes this post was inspired by a recent event of a holiday nature; but its not a bah, humbug ... honestly. Here's what happened.

Every year for some years now our floor has hosted a potluck lunch the week before Christmas. Its a pretty good turn out, lots of participation, etc. And truthfully we've been doing it for so long that it pretty much runs itself. People know what's expected at this point. But someone has to get the ball rolling, arranging for the conference room, notifying everyone, putting up a sign up sheet, etc. And this year the previous organizer had tapped someone else to take over. Not me. Although she hinted it might be my turn next year. And I had to say, "no thanks." But I'm not a Grinch, I swear.

The problem is that I have control issues, and I don't delegate very well. I'm perfectly fine letting others live their lives however they please as long as our spheres don't intersect. But if our spheres touch, I will have a nearly irrestible need to wrest control from you. Its not that I want to. I don't. I don't like telling people what to do. I just know that it would be so much better if everyone did it my way and on my terms. And yet I'm a very mild-mannered person otherwise. Really I am. But put me in charge of something and I turn into a drill sargeant. No, worse, I become this hulking dragon of a person, with my eyes wheeling about in my head and fire snorting out of my nostrils as Darth Vader's voice comes out of my mouth ... "What do you mean you haven't done it yet? Must I use the Dark Side on you." hiss ... pant ... hiss ... pant. It gets very ugly. I even frighten myself. So its much better if I step back and let others take control and just do my little part, whatever specific task has been assigned to me.

The problem is that I am by nature a pretty organized and efficient person and sometimes people notice that and just assign projects to me, assuming I'll be good at it. And usually I am, but that just brings on a whole 'nother problem. Once people know you are good at managing something, you're stuck with it. If you are good at it, they will not let you shake the job. Suddenly nobody else will be available or capable. They'll complain behind your back that you're pushy and fight you when you try to get them to cooperate ... but they won't let you step down and pass the baton. No matter how deep your voice gets.

So I avoid being the person in charge and I don't volunteer. I'll do anything you ask in the way of helping out, but I won't take control. Its better for everyone this way.